ST: Shill.
JH: Mark.
ST: Pervert.
JH: Fat bastard.
[Schaef grimaces at the mention of his weight problem. He isn’t a small guy.]
ST: That was low.
JH: I know, but I promise not to mention it again unless you start to get out of line. Deal?
ST: Deal.
JH: Good! Now! On with the Show!
ST: Shill.
[The arena lights fade to black. It's something the fans have come accustomed to. They saw it in PCW and now they're showing support for the Ohio River Champion. With the crowds roar Raise Your Glasses by Kiss erupts over the load speakers.]
[Slowly a gray mist snakes upwards from the stage and a silver light beams through the entrance way.]
[By now, red spotlights have begun to circle the arena seats and then it all stopsand a large GA symbol is centered on the canvas of the ring and we see his silloette in the light and mist. With an explostion he heads towards the ring with red fire works exploding down the walk way as he passes by.]
JO: Ladies and gentlemen, your Ohio River Champion.... The Guardian Angel!
[The Gaurdian Agnel slides into the ring and climbs the opposite side of the ropes. He rips his title off from around his waste and holds up for the fans as a symbol.]
ST: "Why? Why do I have to sit through this old school crap! Hey! Angel, it's 2001 baby! We don't like to cheer for the super hero... Go back to your comic books!"
JH: "Shut up before he comes over here."
[The house lights go off. The RealVision screen comes to life with a disturbing scene. A young woman, running through the woods. Her clothing is torn and muddied. Her hair matted with dirt and sweat. Tears streaming down her face. She runs through the woods, clawing the foliage out of the way, constantly glancing behind her, trying to escape some unknown attacker.]
[She stops as she sees something ahead of her.]
[She screams.]
[A cyborg appears. A fearsome war machine of the future, primed and ready for battle. It raises a barreled arm. A stream of fire shoots out, engulfing the whole screen in a rushing wave of flame. And that's all you can see, the flames.]
[There is an evil laugh. And over the flames, in the negative colors of the fire, the words appear.]
The Future Is Now
["War Machine" by 7th Heaven starts to play, and the scene switches. To an abandoned factory, with a delapidated ring in the middle. In the middle of the ring, the cyborg can be seen wrestling a match with a charred skeleton. This scene keeps fading in and out with another scene, flowing smoothly with scenes of The Machine wrestling against other opponents.]
[The Machine walks out from the curtains, slowly approaching the top of the ramp. He wears grey martial arts pants, loose fitting and comfortable, done about the waist with a red sash. His boots are black and worn in. No t-shrit on, his upper body is bare, the skin glistening with oil over the developed body and lean muscles of his physiqute. And he wears the mask. All white, with a black face.]
[He walks halfway down the ramp, keeping his gaze on the ring before him, then stops. What expression is on his face is a complete mystery, as nothing can be seen through that mask.]
[He raises a hand at the ring, at the Guardian Angel, pointing a single finger right at the men in the ring. Then, in a slow motion, he draws his thumb across his throat in the throat-slashing motion. It is painfully obvious what The Machine has on his mind.]
[He continues down the ramp, to the floor beside the ring. But he does not enter. He starts walking around the ring, slowly and methodically, keeping his gaze on his opponent.]
JH: Just get in the Ring!
ST: HERE HE COMES
JH: Machine up and into the ring nose to nose with Guardian Angel.
ST: Fight! Fight! Fight!
JH: Ask and ye shall receive! Guardian Angel and Machine just whaling away at one another!
ST: Yeah! Kick him!
JH: One more left from Machine sends Guardian Angel reeling… He grabs Guardian Angel and whips him into the ropes.
ST: Look at that Kick!
JH: A perfect Spinning heel kick from Machine sends Guardian Angel goes down to the mat!
ST: Hey! You! The Vendor in the third row! I want a hotdog!
JH: Machine over and starts with the stomps on Guardian Angel.
ST: Hot Mustard, Ketchup, and Onions!
JH: Machine still stomping away as Guardian Angel struggles to the ropes. He won’t make it!
ST: And a Beer!
JH: Machine pulling Guardian Angel up from where he just stomped a mudhole. Looks like he is trying for a Powerbomb…
ST: No! I don’t want Peanuts! Just the Hotdog and the Beer!
JH: Guardian Angel slips out! Dropkick to the back of Machine’s Head!
ST: You! Yeah you! The Security guard in the blue Jacket! No! Not you, The Other security guard in the Blue Jacket!
JH: Machine went down hard after that hit, Guardian Angel slowly back up to his feet, over to where Machine is laying face down. Off into the Ropes!
ST: Yeah! You! Let the vendor down here! He has a hotdog and a beer for me!
JH: Guardian Angel off the ropes… he Leaps! Leaping Splash! Guardian Angel just nailed The Machine with a Leaping Splash!
ST [his attention is obviously elsewhere]: Yeah. He sure did. Go Guardian Angel. Woo.
JH: Machine rolls out of the ring, he has got to get a breather after those two high impact moves from Guardian Angel.
ST: Yes! Bring the Hotdog over here!
JH: Machine slowly getting to his feet, Guardian Angel on the inside rushes to the ropes… FLYING BODY PRESS TO THE OUTSIDE!
ST: Shut up will ya? I’m trying to hear what he just said my total was!
JH: Both men slow to recover. Machine pulls himself up using the ring apron to stabilize himself. He looks over at Guardian Angel who has still yet to move and looks at the mats covering the concrete floor.
[While Jimmy calls the match, and Schaef orders a hotdog, Machine reaches down and peels back several feet of the mat that covers the concrete. Once he has it done to his satisfaction, he walks over to where Guardian Angel lays and pulls him to his feet.]
JH: Machine pulls Guardian Angel over to the exposed Concrete… DDT! The Machine just planted Guardian Angel into the exposed concrete with that vicious DDT!
ST: Mustard, Ketchup… Where are my onions?
JH: Both men down again, that hit had to take the wind out of Machine and just further send Guardian Angel into la la land.
ST: Natural Light? Don’t you have Budweiser or something? Natty Light tastes like Piss!
JH: Machine back up, slowly rolls Guardian Angel into the ring before him and walks over to where Jacob is sitting.
[We can see Jacob and The Machine verbally arguing with one another about the steel chair where Jacob is sitting. Finally, having had enough of his lip, the Machine slaps Jacob out of the chair and tosses it into the ring. He follows shortly there after.]
JH: Machine going to take this outside the rules, this isn’t a hardcore war, chairs aren’t legal!
ST: Give me a Michelob then! Anything other than Natty Light!
JH: Refferee Frank Mulligan trying to take the chair from the Machine. Trying to start a tug of war with the bigger man. Mulligan pulls to hard as Machine lets go!
[The results are simple. The chair in Mulligans hand hit him in the face. He collapses.]
JH: Machine picking the chair back up, over to where Guardian Angel is finally stirring!
[Thwock!]
JH: A Vicious Chair Shot to the head of the slowly rising Guardian Angel. Machine rears back with that chair again!
[Thwock! Thwock! Thwock! Thwock!]
JH: OH MY GOD! Five shots to the head with that chair! Guardian Angel has got to be out of this! He has got to!
ST: What’s my total?
JH: Machine tosses the chair out of the ring and stands staring over the fallen Guardian Angel. What now?
[Machine points at the top turn buckle.]
JH: Here it comes! He is going up top!
ST: Eight Fifty? Are you insane? Eight fifty for a hotdog and a beer?
JH: Machine makes his way up to the top of the ropes as Guardian Angel, somehow makes it to his feet and staggers. Machine stands up tall on the ropes… he Signals… Guardian Angel leaps into the ropes!
[Massive Crowd Pop.]
JH: Machine just hit the top turnbuckle crotch first! Guardian Angel leapt into the ropes and caused Machine to fall!
ST: That’s highway Robbery? Do you have any clue who I am? I am Schaef Tolliver! I can buy and sell your whole family!
JH: Machine obviously not moving much, that hit must have taken the wind out of his sails. Guardian Angel runs up the turnuckle like it was stairs… Tope rope Hurricanrana! He hooks the leg!
1…
2…
JH: NO! Machine Kicked out at the last minute! Guardian Angel slowly back up to his feet and around to behind The Machine.
ST: Aaah, my hotdog.
JH: He hooks The Machine in the Cataclysm! He has it hooked, and there is nowhere to go!
ST: Well, it’s not Bud, but it’s not bad.
JH: Machine Taps! He tapped! Guardian Angel Retains the Ohio River Championship!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
ST: So, what did I miss?
[Fade to Commercial.]