ST: Ding dong the witch ISN’T dead. Michael Djin is going to kill somebody!
“Pride” by Godhead begins to play and Christian and Thane Noble make their way to the ring.]
JH: Well, there’s the challengers, the Noblemen.
ST: Do you think they eat tea and crumpets like every other Limey?
JH: Not all English people eat crumpets. And “Limey” is a slanderous term.
ST: I’ll slander you!
JH: Your presence is slander enough. Might and Magic should be coming any second now…
JO: And now entering the arena. at a combined weight of five hundred sixty-five pounds. representing Dissent. MIMIC and THE WARLOCK! MICHAEL! DJIN! They are your TSW Triple Crown Tag Team Champions and they are MIGHT AND MAGIC!
The slowly ascending volume of drumming at the beginning of Godsmack's "Bad Magick" begins playing over the PA system. The hard guitar quickly kicks in afterwards and a simultaneous gusts of red and gold smoke spew forth from the entranceway. Gold laser lights begin to adorn the arena's headroom. A red spotlight falls on the entranceway.
JH: Looks like it’s going to be Djin and Christian Noble starting things off.
ST: Djin is freaking huge. He just towers over Noble.
JH: Noble charges and catches a big boot to the face. Noble is clutching his jaw.
ST: And look at the big witch…he’s looking down at Noble with a smirk.
JH: Djin lifts Noble back to his feet. Shoots him off the ropes. Noble ducks a clothesline and bounces off the ropes again. Back body drop by Djin, but Noble lands on his feet.
ST: If I was him, I’d run and tag out. Djin rules that ring like I used to rule Jimmy’s momma’s bedroom.
JH: You die later.
ST: I’ll have Djin turn you into a newt.
JH: Djin turns and Noble with a superkick to the jaw of the big Wiccan.
ST: Maybe the English finally evolved into vertebrates.
JH: Djin rocks back but keeps on his feet. Noble with a kick to the gut and…
ST: What the F do you call that?
JH: A twisting cradle suplex Schaef. And a damn fine one at that. COVER!
ONE!!!
JH: Kickout by Djin.
ST: Kickout my ass. He tossed Noble half way across the ring. I’m glad Mike and I are boys or else I’d be worried.
JH: Boys huh?
ST: Yeah, we used to kick at the swap meet back in the L B C.
JH: What?
ST: Nothing cracker.
JH: Both men back up. Collar and elbow tie up. Djin with a knee lift. And another. And a third. Clubbing forearm to the back of Christian Noble’s neck. And the English Noble goes down.
ST: Like that Leslie girl at a Christmas party.
JH: Who’s Leslie?
ST: Ask Bill.
JH: WHO IS BILL?
ST: You’re hopeless.
JH: Djin Bounces off the far ropes and elevates for an elbow drop. Cover…
ONE…
TWO….
JH: Kickout by Noble.
ST: Damn it!
JH: Djin with a death stare to the official.
ST: He’s going to turn HIM into a newt.
JH: No one is going to be turned into a newt.
ST: That’s because you already are a newt.
JH: Noble back up but woozy. And Djin is waiting for him as he turns. Djin has him by the throat. And lifts…
ST: AHHHHH! THE CHOKESLAM!!!
JH: O…kay. Um, it was a choke slam. And I think Noble might be dead.
ST: Let’s hope so.
JH: Djin slowly walks to his corner to tag in Mimic who looks ready now that Noble is laid out.
ST: Mimic is a genius.
JH: And a jackass.
ST: A genius jackass.
JH: Mimic climbs to the top turnbuckle. Huge frog splash!
ST: Ribbit!
JH: Cover!
ONE!!!
TWO!!!
JH: Thane Noble kicks Mimic in the back of the head to stop the count.
ST: Bad idea. The big witch is back in and hammering on Thane Noble.
JH: Mimic has Christian Noble back on his feet and doubled over. And he delivers the Noble’s own Righteousness axe kick.
ST: I told you the English were pussies.
JH: And Djin had Thane Noble staggered. Kick to the gut. This isn’t good.
ST: The hell it isn’t!
JH: Djin with a Taboo Powerbomb on Thane Noble.
ST: Now he’ll keep his nose, and crooked teeth out of Might and Magic’s business.
JH: Djin yells something in Mimic’s face.
ST: Probably was just reminding him not to drop the soap in front of you.
JH: Djin lifts Christian Noble and tosses him at Mimic as Thane Noble is out cold a few feet away.
ST: Why is Djin smiling?
JH: Mimic with a Whirlwind Death Drop on Christian Noble!
ST: Cult of Personality are a couple of pussies too.
JH: That’s got to be it.
ONE!!!
TWO!!!
THREE!!!
JH: Might and Magic makes a statement to all of TSW as well as to Cult of Personality here tonight.
ST: They sure did, Watch your backs around Jimmy… or… more like, watch your butts around Jimmy.
JH: Schaef, one day, very soon, I am going to make you regret being born.
ST: That’s ok, you already did.
JH: Huh?
ST: Don’t worry Jimmy. I already regret your being born.
JH: I’ll deal with you later.
ST: Please, use vaseline this time around alright?
Jimmy splutters at what Schaef just said as Schaef grins wide.
ST: While my compatriot here forgets how to speak, how about we get… WAIT! HERE COMES JAMES CLARK!
JH: We have to go to Commercial!
ST: Screw the Commercial! James Clark!
No Schaef, screw you, because we just cut to our final commercial.